What I'm Not Doing

Three Trees, Oil on Board, July 2019

I spent the day not gardening or painting. I have the materials all ready to go, but no momentum. The above painting is looking at the cottage I rented last summer, the one in the center. I really enjoyed that place; it has a screened-in porch in the back and is surprisingly well-appointed for a summer cottage. Hardwood floors, a bidet, Penzeys' spices in the kitchen. I'm not renting it this summer because I haven't got anyone to rent my condo for the season. So I get to stay home for the first time in years and years, but make no money. I had to take out a loan, with which I'm not comfortable. At any rate, I need to attend to my garden, as I've been neglecting it over these years. And I need to paint, as I'm supposed to be an artist.

I just attempted to record a video of a little hymn for church, but the choir director gave us a sound track to follow that, I'm sorry, I can't follow. I have trouble with the whole taking-a-video-of-myself thing anyway, but was willing to try until I realized I couldn't make my singing line up with hers. Technology is great until it isn't. I so miss singing with other people and an accompanist.

Tonight would be our second performance night with the Outer Cape Chorale, and it's awful not being able to do that. I feel lost.